Forlorn. That’s how I’m feeling

Robin Williams

P.G. Holyfield

Much of the world knew of the former, while a significantly smaller portion knew the latter. I have cried over both of these men recently, much to my own dismay, as I haven’t been particularly emotional for many years. But, in their own ways, both of these fine fellows have touched my life.Robin Williams is… was one of the best known actors of our time, from his role as Mork from Ork to “Good Morning, Vietnam” and “Dead Poets Society” among many other works in film, television, and on stage.

Robin resonated with my because I understand what it’s like to put on a happy face for the world, all the while being locked in the dark recesses of depression and despair. His suicide also reminded me of the suicide of someone with whom I was acquainted, several years earlier, due to intractable pain and depression. Robin’s talent gave me hope in some very dark places in my life, and spoke to me in a still, small voice, telling me that I was not alone in my pain.

P.G. (Patrick) Holyfield is a much smaller figure in the entertainment world, but he is one of the earliest producers of podcast fiction, along with Scott Sigler and Tee Morris and others. P.G. wrote thoughtful and entertaining stuff, and made appearances on more than a few projects by other people. He was, by all accounts, a sweet, generous, and kind person. He will be leaving behind two young daughters.

P.G. developed Cholangiocarcinoma, which is rapidly lethal and is considered to be incurable, particularly if it has metastasized to the lymph nodes. From the first time he went to the doctor because he didn’t feel well, to his diagnosis, to his imminent demise, less than a month will have passed.

I am having a difficult time processing these two deaths, and am pretty shaken by them. But the first word of the title of this post pretty well sums my feelings up.


CC BY-SA 4.0 Forlorn. That’s how I’m feeling by Geordon VanTassle is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

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